On Love and Not Taking it for Granted

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We’re all guilty of taking our partners for granted sometimes. They drive you nuts, you argue, you forget just how special and magical it is to have found someone that you not only adore, but they feel the same way about you.

This all hit home for me last week when I received this email from Lucy.

“Hi Kat

I’ve ummed and ahh-ed about sending this in to you, as you will see it’s not something which you would normally publish.

My name is Lucy Pope and my fiance is Daniel Marshall, our wedding was booked for 22nd October this year and we were so excited. Unbelievably, because it feels like so much longer, I met Daniel on 6th June 2015 in a nightclub in Hereford. He always told people that as soon as he saw me he knew he needed to talk to me. Dan had recently moved back to Hereford following a short but intense bout of skin cancer. On Christmas Day last year Daniel proposed.

We had grand plans including a whole bunch of flamingos, multi-coloured balloons, balloons spelling ‘Fuck Yeah Dan & Lucy’ (in a nod to a flaming lips gig we went to last year), our dog (Baxter) dressed as Pikachu, general craziness… Daniel described it as ‘like a rainbow has thrown up everywhere’! We planned to have a humanist ceremony which our friend Rich wrote for us, it was going to be beautiful. I had found an amazing seventies style crochet/lace dress to wear with a leather jacket and boots, we were going to have a tropical flamingo fiesta. We were going to eat burritos, doughnuts and candy floss, and drink whisky and cider surrounded by hundreds of colourful balloons, and the odd comic and Pokemon reference thrown in for good measure.

In short, it was going to be a day of happiness and mentalness perfectly summing us up. Something we had both been looking forward to was submitting to you afterwards, as we were super confident that you would melt at it all and love us (modest I know, haha).”

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“On 24th May Daniel collapsed at home from a stroke, the next few hours are a blur, but we discovered that he had cancer in both his brain and his lungs. Two days later in the earlier hours of 26th May, one week after being given the all clear from cancer, Daniel passed away as I stroked his hair. He was 29.

Dan is my best friend and I love him more than he will ever know. I know it sounds trite but we complete each other and without him I don’t feel whole. We only got one year together, but it was the best year of our lives and I will always be grateful that we got that time, there are so many people in the world that will never get to experience anywhere near what we had.

I am so grateful that we managed to do this engagement session with the Costa Sisters, who’d we’d booked for the wedding.  We decided have the engagement shoot, mostly so that we would have a warm up before the wedding day. It involved eating burgers and breaking into an old ammunition factory near us, it was a lush day.

I really can not stress enough how important that shoot ended up being to me and I’m so thankful, not only that we got it done, but also that we chose Elena and Sofia because they have given me and many other people something so special to hold on to. I know that our story is the extreme and hopefully nothing like this will ever happen to any of you, but if we had settled for a cheaper option then we wouldn’t have these beautiful images and video to hold on to.”

“I know you don’t normally feature that many engagement shoots, particularly ones which in hindsight could be seen as a tad depressing but I figured ‘nothing ventured nothing gained’. The song in the video is Daniel singing and playing the guitar (he was so good, and was just building up his confidence again).”

After watching their video (IN BITS!) I decided that I really wanted to share it on the blog too. Yes, it might not be the upbeat kind of wedding inspiration that I usually publish, but I thought it was really important to share for two reasons.

The first being that love is a gift and you should treasure it always. We’re all guilty of taking it, and our partner, for granted sometimes when we’re grumpy or moody or they’re driving us around the bend.

But also, it solidified my belief on how vital it is to document your love while you have it. Whether that be through silly personal snaps and videos, or getting the most amazing professional engagement and wedding photographs that you can… Because, as awful as it is to think about, you just never know what might happen.

So please, hug your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiance/ husband/ wife extra hard tonight, tell them you love them everyday, and take those engagement and wedding photographs while you can.

Thank you Lucy for sharing your photos, video and story. I’m sending you all the love in the universe and I’m sure everyone reading this will do too.

Suppliers

68 comments

  1. Oh man, wasn’t prepared for that. Thanks so much for finding the strength to share Lucy (& to Kat for publishing) What a gorgeous, happy looking couple and wonderful photographs to cherish. I’m so glad that you found each other when you did and were able to spend that year together.

  2. Debbie

    Sweet, sweet Lucy, since you’ve told us your news you’ve been in my thoughts. Sending you all the love&strenght in the world💜

  3. Rebecca Richards

    Much love to you and all your family, it was brave to share and put your words out there x

  4. Kate Duffell

    Lucy, I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through and this was so brave of you to do. When I saw this on Facebook in May my heart broke for you and tears were shed. I have read and watched this again today and find it just as hard.

    Your shoot looks amazing, as did your wedding plans. What a gorgeous story and a wonderful year you had together.

    I will be thinking of you in October when I too get married to my Daniel, and remember every day not to take life for granted.

    My thoughts are with you and sending you love and strength xxx

  5. Catherine

    Lucy you brave woman. Your video and photos are so beautiful and precious. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful of life.
    I am so sorry for your loss, but it is clear for all to see how beautiful your relationship is.
    Take care.
    Thank you for being an inspiration. Xx

  6. Fiona Winter

    Lucy you truly are an inspiration. Your strength in being able to share your story with us all is amazing. You had a truly magical year with Dan, thank you for reminding us all to never forget how special love is, and never forget to love xx

  7. Natalie James

    Lucy, I am so moved by this and my heart breaks for your loss. You write about your experience beautifully and the photos are definitely a great way to remember your man – you both look so happy. I met my boyfriend 18 months ago which is not long shy of your time with Daniel. You’ve reminded me so poignantly to not take love for granted and thank you Kat for sharing this truly maddening and heartfelt story. Lucy my very best wishes to you. May the darkness lift (it will eventually. Hang on in there girl) xx

  8. Tiarna

    I’m an absolute sobbing mess. As soon as my OH gets home from work Im not letting him go.
    My heart goes out to you Lucy. There are no words that could make this better but please just know the entire rock ‘n’ roll community, wives & brides included, are here for you and will keep you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers 💘

  9. Lucy you have inspired us all to cherish and love what is close to you. You are very strong and brave for sharing your beautiful story, thank you. I could never imagine loosing my partner and the thought of that is unbearable, like you he is my best friend and we are lucky to share that same relationship.

    All the best and love to you xxx

  10. Shelly

    Thank you Lucy for having the strength to share your beautiful pictures and video.

    My thoughts are with you and your family X

  11. Hannah Peet

    Words fail me after reading this and seeing those beautiful photos. This can’t be easy for you but i have to say you’re inspiring for sharing this with everyone, i can only wish the absolute best for you and send you all the positive energy i can. Thank you for this brave reminder that life really is short, and to love as hard as you can for as long as you can. All my love Lucy x

  12. Sam

    I’m in bits reading this and can’t imagine what you’re going through Lucy. Been thinking of you since you broke the news on Facebook and sending you love and hugs. X

  13. Dani

    You both look so gorgeously happy and in love! What a privilege was for him to know true love and dying in the arms of his loved one! Many people live a hundred years without experiencing that. Congratulations on this beautiful life you are living.

  14. Sabrina

    Thank you for being brave enough to share this.

    These photos are wonderful and very special.

    X

  15. Charlotte

    What a brave thing you’ve done sharing this with the he world to see, and I can not imagine the pain of loss you have. It’s a wonderful thing you’ve done sharing your experience and puts it all into place that we do indeed take our loved ones for granted on occasion. Sending love you to and your families. X

  16. Emma Forde

    Wow. How bittersweet this was to see, literally made me rethink sending a nagging text to my fiancé about some menial household bugbear because I realised how pointless it was in the grand scheme of things. The shoot was beautiful and you were both clearly meant for each other. Thankyou so much for sharing xxx

  17. The genuine love, joy and happiness just radiates from Dan and Lucy in the video and gorgeous photos. I’m so desperately sorry for your loss Lucy.

  18. Becky Kew

    Oh Lucy, I’m so sad to hear your sad news. Dan was obviously a good soul and was needed for higher work. Your words scream of your love for him and his for you, your wedding plans sounded perfect. Thank you for allowing us to share this video with you.
    My love and prayers are with you, I shall light a candle for you and Dan this evening and celebrate his life and be so glad that you had a year together. With much love and sadness, Becky xx

  19. Valeria

    Lucy how brave to share this very personal video! I was in tears watching it and thinking about your message behind this decision. You are absolutely right and I hope you will find love again in the future! You have a beautiful smile don’t ever stop smiling. Thinking of you and sending you hugs xxx

  20. Claire

    I remember Lucy from the rnr brides group, I shed tears when I read her post and now more. I think she has done a really brave and thoughtful thing by sharing this with us and I send her all the love in the world xxx

  21. Amie Grant

    Lucy I can not even imagine your pain. I think you are a strong amazing women to share your story. I think it teaches us all a value every second of our relationship and it maybe a cliche but never go to bed or leave the house when angry at each other as you never know what will happen.
    Your wedding plans sound absolutely amazing and I am deeply saddened you will no longer get your special day but glad you have this video to look back on.

    You are in my thoughts xxx

  22. Sara-Louise Walker

    This is so beautiful. All the love in the world to Lucy, Dan and their family x

  23. Kerr

    Oh Lucy, I have nothing but love to send your way for you in the aftermath of what has happened. Daniel seems like a wonderful, caring and passionate who loved you so. I’m so glad you managed to have that year together and that when he went, he went with your hand upon him. Your love is a beautiful reminder to us all that life is fleeting, it’s nothing but a shooting star, and we need to grab hold of it and make it wonderful. Nothing does that better than loving another soul like its part of your own. I wish you all the best Lucy, you deserve it.

    Thanks Kat for publishing this.

    Kerr xxxxx

  24. Such a stunning testimony to what is clearly a once in a life time love ♡♡
    So brave and generous of you to share this with the world and I thank you for that ♡♡

  25. bilitis

    This truly is a beautiful shoot.
    I can not imagine what you have been through but having this great little snippet of your love is truly magical. life is short and sometimes people forget about this.

    Thank you Kat for sharing this with us all.

  26. Mary Fenner

    You’re so brave to share such a heartbreaking story. I remember reading your post that told us what had happened and it broke my heart, I cannot imagine how you are coping. I too am from Hereford and although I don’t know you I’ve seen you around the town and recognised your face. A face that is so utterly in love in these pics, such a gorgeous memory to have and treasure always. Take care lovely, much love xx

  27. Shelley Farrar

    Thank you Lucy for your bravery in sharing this. A powerful love story is not diminished by length and those pictures show how beautiful yours is. I wish you all the best for the future.

    And thank you to Kat for publishing this.

  28. Launa

    Lucy, I just wanted to send you love, you’d left the group by the time I commented last time but you’ve been in my thoughts ever since. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad you got to find each other. We’ll all still be there if you ever need us. xxx

  29. Helen

    What beautiful pictures and video, thank you so much for sharing them. I’m so sorry for your loss Lucy x

  30. Sinead

    What an amazingly strong person you are Lucy to share your story, it makes us all realize just how fragile and precious life is! Wishing you all the best Hun, stay strong x

  31. Mandy Williams

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share this at a truly heart breaking time. Sending you all the love and best wishes in the world xxxx

  32. Leah

    My goodness, I was not prepared for that. I am so sorry for your loss, Lucy. Thank you for sharing your story. I will make sure to hug my other half a little tighter tonight. Much love to you!

  33. Tally

    Truly heartbreaking. You can see the love in these pictures and video, they ooze happiness and serenity. Lucy, let us hold you at this difficult time.
    xoxox

  34. Absolutely gorgeous.
    Sending all the love to you. You and Dan had a wonderful life together, even though it was way too short. I hope you find peace. Love is all that matters, long or short <3

  35. Gina Kuhlmann

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with Kat. It’s such a brave thing to do. Thinking of you. All the strength in the world to you xx

  36. Jen

    Sat on the train trying to hold it together. Thank you both so much for sharing such a beautiful story I am so gutted that Daniel’s story was cut so brutally short. I will go home tonight and squeeze my Daniel extra hard. Lucy my thoughts and love are with you on the difficult journey, I am sure Daniel will be looking down on you with pride for your strength and poise in dealing with this terrible time. Xxx

  37. Becky

    Thank you for both sharing this. A reminder for us all to cherish what we have. The best bit of advice I have ever been given was from my nan. (She said she loved my grandad every day but sometimes she despised the man) her advice was never go to sleep on an argument and always find one thing you appreciate. Lucy I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you all the love support and strength for the future xxx

  38. Sas

    Thank you so much Lucy for sharing this with Kat & all of us you amazingly brave lady! Thinking of you & sending you strength & love.x x

  39. John Matshall

    Hello I am John Marshall and you have now met my beloved Son Dan. Lucy was the most incredible partner to Dan. She made him happier than he has ever been. My Wife Sue and I are so proud of Lucy. She was with Dan all the way through the last 36 hours. She was a great support to Dan and a wonderful support to Sue and Myself. Lucy is so right, show your Love to your partner and also your parents and your wonderful children when they come into your life. Hug them often and as Daniel always did to us, tell them you Love them as often as you can. Make the most of the time you have available. Thank You for your comments, Love wishes. John & Sue

  40. Carla

    Thanks for sharing this Kat.
    Lucy, Since I saw your news, I’ve thought of you often. It’s amazing that you can be so positive at (what must be) such a dark time for you.
    Sending you lots of love and strength. ❤️

  41. Kerry

    Oh wow, crying again. I remember being heartbroken when I read the post about Dan passing despite not knowing you both at all.
    Thank you for having the strength to share this, it certainly puts everything into perspective and makes me glad that I’m following my fiancee’s lead and leading to share her loves as she does mine.
    Your pictures and video are awesome and thanks to this post we will be taking up our photographers offer of a pee wedding shoot, because we never know. Much love xx

  42. Emily Jones

    Thank you so much for having the courage to share Lucy. Your words and photos of you both are beautiful and reminds us all what is important. Much love xxx

  43. Oh my word this is incredibly sad. Lucy thank you for sharing your story, you’re so true, we really all do need to remember not take our loved ones for granted, such scary things can happen so fast. Thinking of you and the rest of Dan’s family <3

  44. Katrina

    Thank you Lucy, I remember seeing this when you posted it on the group, and my heart has broken for you all over again watching it today. I’m so sorry to you, John & Sue for your loss xxx

  45. Lucy. If you happen to be reading, thank you. Thank you for allowing us to read your words. Thank you for talking about something than not many others do. I found myself in a very similar situation in 2014 when my fiancé died aged just 30. A life changing, awful time but you know what? It also taught me how to be brave and live every single moment to the fullest. I am now marrying a guy who I adore this October and we both know how short life can be, refusing to undervalue our relationship or take it for granted. Sending you all my love. Lisa xx

  46. Lucie Colwell

    From a Lucie to a Lucy. I am not sure I have words. What a remarkable beautiful love story and how courageous and strong to share. I hope you inspire others, I hope people check themselves for cancer too. I send you every possible hug and I hope you draw comfort from knowing so many of us are holding you in our thoughts and prayers and are moved so much by your experience, and your stunning photos, video and wonderful singing and the whole bundle of memories x
    Thank you

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