Category Archives: Wedding Planning Advice

Help! I’ve got Pre-Wedding Cold Feet

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Ive been with my fiancé for nearly 7 years and when we got engaged in October I was over the moon. Now we are planning the wedding and I keep having dreams about running away and going on adventures on my own. We’ve talked about it and he understands it doesn’t mean I don’t love him and I’ve spoken to a lot of people who’ve told me its very normal but I’m worried about it.” Lauren 

First off, your fiancé is right, being nervous before a massive, life changing event (like marriage!) is perfectly normal. In fact you’d be completely abnormal if you weren’t a little bit apprehensive about what the future might bring. But as someone who’s been married for six years, let me tell you something – nothing really changes and any subtle differences are TOTALLY for the better!

The safety and security you feel in your relationship when when you’re married is like nothing else. It’s difficult to explain it to someone who hasn’t yet taken the plunge, but just knowing that this person has chosen to be with you, and only you, for the rest of their life is a wonderful feeling. Fights don’t have the same devastating effect, and you can be yourself more. It’s unlikely that a little tiff or disagreement will end the relationship (which you might have always been worried about before) and although you drive each other crazy sometimes, it doesn’t matter because you love each other SO MUCH.

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13 Things You’ll Wish You Did On Your Wedding Day

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Hindsight is a wonderful, if not mildly frustrating, thing. It’s all very well and good learning a lesson from an experience but most people don’t ever go back to have a second wedding! So here are 13 things from my own experience that I recommend prioritising on your wedding day.

1. Start the DIY early

We didn’t have a lot of DIY in our wedding (we did the stationery ourselves but that was about it) but even then I wish we’d started it much earlier than we did! These things always take longer than you anticipate so give yourself a fighting chance and get those craft supplies out sooner rather than later! I can’t think of anything worse than still having DIY to do the night before your wedding. That is so not fun!

2. Have your hair and make up done by a pro

I did my own make up, but looking back I really wish I’d had a professional make up artist to do it. I hadn’t yet discovered just how amazing make up done by someone who knows how to contour and properly blend eye shadow can be. I had a few trials in the run up to our wedding but I must have been going to the wrong people because I left each one thinking “Meh, I can do this myself, what’s the point?”

While, in the end, my make up was okaaaay, I would have looked, and felt, a million times more beautiful if I’d had it done by someone else.

I strongly advise having at least one trial before the wedding day (of both hair and make up) to make sure the person you book understands exactly what you want. Bring photographic examples with you to show how you want it to look, and afterwards have someone take photos of you from every angle. It might look great in person but you’ll want to know how it photographs too.

By the way, if you’re in the UK I love and recommend Elbie Van Eeden and Lipstick and Curls for hair and make up, and Allison Cameron for make up. Other artists that I’ve worked with and loved around the world are Regan Rabanal (make up), Kristen Jackson (hair) and Eryk Datura (make up) in New York, Your Beauty Call in Vegas (both), Lauren aka Queen of Blending in LA (make up) and Bernice in Melbourne (make up).

3. Delegate!

A lot of couples don’t seem to like asking for help, but believe me, most of your friends and family will be happy – thrilled in fact – to lend a hand. You can not do everything yourself, especially on the day, and especially if you are having a DIY wedding!

Its also a really good idea to have a specific person in charge of certain things, for example the playlist (if you’re not having a DJ or band), keeping the photo booth ticking over and riot-free, and for rounding up wayward family members for the group photos!

4. Have a ceremony rehearsal

We had a rehearsal the day before our wedding and at first I thought it was going to be weird, “Who needs to practice?? I thought, “surely I just walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’?”.

But there’s a lot that goes into some ceremonies (particularly religious ones) so it’s a really good idea to have a run through. In ours, we actually had to respond with “I will”, not “I do” so I would have got that wrong for starters..!

It’s also good to find out in advance things like what to do with your bouquet, who’s going to pass you your vows and when, and where you have to go to sign the marriage certificate.

You’ll also probably be really surprised just how poignant the ceremony is. I’m not a teary, emotional person but I burst into (happy!) tears when we were practising our vows. I’m glad I didn’t do it in front of a church packed with every single person I know!

Oh and practice your walk down the aisle. I practically sprinted down the thing I was so nervous and excited. I was at the bottom before the song had really even begun. Take your time!

5. Have a back up copy

…Of everything! The music, the group shot list, the seating plan… you just never know. Give one of each to a responsible bridesmaid or groomsman.

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How To Stop Worrying About Your Wedding

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Whether it’s something big like stressing that your divorced parents will have an blazing mid-ceremony row, or as trivial as worrying that your flowers won’t match your perfectly planned colour scheme, having a mild pre-wedding freak out is completely normal.

Here’s the thing about worrying though: it’s completely pointless. All that negative energy only serves to emotionally drain you and distract you from more important things. Things like actually taking action and making choices. Worrying also sucks away your motivation to get things done because you’re constantly guessing and second guessing every possible outcome.

So just how do you kick that worry to the curb and tell it that it’s not invited to your wedding?

Realise that worrying is futile

However logical you might think your negative thoughts might be, they are completely unnecessary. It is also well within your power to change your attitude to them. You gain nothing by worrying, and in actual fact, by allowing those thought into your head you’re only adding to the problem because you’re giving them increasing weight. Don’t make decisions based on concern about something that may or may not even happen.

Think positive

If your anguish is over something more serious, like maybe a family member has health issues, then the best thing you can do is change your mindset and focus on sending out positive vibes instead.

You can’t help anyone by dwelling in the negative. If you’re finding it impossible then take a moment to acknowledge your concern, realise that it is valid, but then focus on the potential positive outcome, not the negative one. As I said before, you’re only hurting your own peace of mind by always assuming the worst.

Let the professionals do their jobs

If you have wedding suppliers that you trust implicitly then you’ll have no need to worry that your dress will turn out awful, your photos will be pants or your venue will cancel on you. This all comes down to research. Ask married friends and family who had great experiences, scour wedding blogs and magazines for vendor credits and have meetings with the people you want to book to make sure you’re on the same page. If you have a team behind you that you know are awesome, they’ll be no need to stress about something going wrong on the day.

Delegate!

You can not do everything yourself. I guarantee that most of your friends and family will be thrilled to help you on your big day too. Instead of stressing yourself out that you’ll never stitch those 300 metres of bunting on time, delegate it! Ask people to help you. It will make the whole process a million times less worrisome.

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Join Me Live at 4pm Today!

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Diane + Mike Photography

My first solo Q&A livestream kicks off today at 4pm GMT. For about an hour, I’ll be answering as many questions as I can squeeze in. So grab yourself a cuppa and let’s have some fun!

Have a wedding planning drama you need help with? Want some wedding venue recommendations? Wondering what make up I use? I am an open book, and completely at your disposal!

Click play to tune in below, and feel free to submit any questions via this link by hitting that Q&A button!

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How Do We Tell People We Don’t Want Their Children at Our Wedding?

jill greenburg

Most of our friends now have children. If we invited them all to our wedding there would be nearly 35 kids, we were only planning a guest list of 75 and don’t know how to let people know without upsetting them. We know some people will struggle to get sitters but I’m worried it will turn into a screaming child frenzy if we invite them all. Do we do a blanket no children or invite some, the ones we are closest to and risk upsetting people on the day? Added complication is my two nephews will be there who will be 1 and 3 and my flower girl who is 6. Any help/advice appreciated! – Sarah-Jane

Sarah, I completely empathise, this was the exact situation we had with our wedding too! While we didn’t have a flowergirl or ring bearer, we did have a couple of nieces and nephews there, but chose not to invite our friend’s children.

I want to kick off my reply by saying I am not anti-children, or criticising people who choose to have them, but they’re not really for me. While some people can’t imagine their wedding without kids running around all day, I certainly fall into the camp of those who can.

Although proper wedding etiquette states that unless there is a +1 on the invitation, only people whose names are on the invite should actually rock up, there will always be some people who ignore, or don’t understand, this and will assume their whole brood is more than welcome. To avoid any potential confusion we phoned our friends with kids to explain the situation outright. Pretty much everyone was fine with this, and some were thrilled to have a night away from their sprogs! Babysitters for the win!

If you’re struggling to figure out how to explain why some children (like your flowergirl) are invited but others (like your work friend’s three little darlings) are not, then you can always cite ‘budget constraints’, or ‘space limitations’ as the issue, even if it’s not true.

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Rock n Roll Bride Live!!

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I get a lot of emails from readers asking for wedding planning advice and recommendations. My inbox bulges with them! Rather than replying to them all one by one, I’ve decided to try something new… and a little bit scary!

On Sunday 29nd June at 4pm GMT I’l be hosting a LIVE online Q&A session where I’ll try my darnedest to help you navigate the tricky world of wedding planning! Whether you need some supplier recommendations, ideas on where to find the most amazing sparkly shoes, help resolving a family drama or just some feedback on your fabulous theme idea, I’m your gal!

No question is too big or too small, and even if you don’t have any specific things you want to ask me, I hope it’ll be a fun way to break up an otherwise boring Sunday afternoon.

To RSVP to the event simply visit my page on Google+. You can also submit your questions ahead of time by hitting the Q&A button, or you can ask them live as we go along. I’ll be with you for about an hour, and I’ll try and fit in as many questions as physically possible in that time. Eeeek!

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