Category Archives: Personal Rambles

What Starting To Exercise Has Taught Me About My Mental Health

Rock n Roll Bride Irregular Choice Shoes

Denial and terror, what a joyful combination… but they’re things I’ve been dealing with for a very long time. Oh my goodness, what’s been going on? You might ask. Has something really bad and difficult happened? Are you trying to do something no-one else has done? Is it something completely revolutionary and new?

Well actually, no.

For the past 32 years I’ve been completely petrified of any form of exercise.

As a teenager I passionately resisted physical exercise as much as possible. I was always the girl in PE with a note from home, opting to do extra maths lessons (which I also hated!) instead. But ANYTHING would be better than having to run around a field or, horror of horror, do team sports. I’m not sure if it stemmed from being badly bullied or if I was just lazy, but ever since then I’ve had a complete mental block on breaking out in a sweat.

Over the past few years I’ve been in pretty bad shape. I was drinking way too regularly and for the most part, hardly leaving the house unless it was to go to the supermarket (working from home is awesome, but it does have a nasty habit of turning you into a hermit). I started to think that maybe, maaaaybe, I should start doing some exercise… but I was scared of EVERYTHING to do with it.

I was scared of trying, scared of failing, scared that people would judge me, scared that other people in the gym would think I looked stupid, scared that I wouldn’t know how to use the equipment, worried I’d look fat in workout gear… The list just went on and on.

People have been telling me for YEARS that exercise will make me feel better, but I kept pushing it away. “Yeah maybe it works for you”, I’d think, “But getting all sweaty and out of breath sounds like hell to me”. It was easier to self-medicate my moods with things like alcohol and shopping…

But then one day back in March something strange happened. I was feeling sluggish, depressed, and like I’d just spent too much time in front of my computer. Gareth was in the next room getting ready to go to the gym so I called through (I was too embarrassed to even look him in the eye) and I tentatively said, “Erm, hey, I think I might want to come to the gym with you today.” That’s the even sillier thing, Gareth has been a dedicated gym bunny for 5+ years. He loves it and he looks GREAT, yet still I was so anxious about even telling him I wanted to give it a try.

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No Dicks Allowed: A Hen Do Without The Penis Straws

This weekend was my sister’s hen do (bachelorette for my American readers!) We planned everything as a surprise for her, but were under strict instructions that there be nothing pink, fluffy or penis shaped!

After posting a few photos on social media, I’ve had lots of questions about where we were and what we did (apparently a lot of you also want a send off that doesn’t involve inflatable penises or matching tee-shirts!) so I thought I’d share what we got up to. I’ve also ended the post with a few bonus tips to make sure your own alternative hen do goes off without a hitch!

Renting a house though Airb&b

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There were 11 of us, so we decided that hiring a big house that we could all stay in would be the most fun and economical option. Rachel (my sister) didn’t really want to go ‘out out’ so we didn’t need to be near a big town or city.

I trawled Airbnb for weeks to find somewhere big enough to sleep everyone, that didn’t cost a thousand pounds plus a night, and if there was a hot tub or a pool, even better! Eventually we found Lower Tadmarton House, near Banbury. It was wonderful! The house slept up to 16 (although we had to share double beds, which no-one seemed to mind) and we had the option of hiring in a hot tub at an additional cost. It was PERFECT.

If you are wanting to do the same my advice would be to start looking way earlier than you might think you need to (especially if you’re doing it over a popular weekend, like the May Bank Holiday). I booked this place in January but even then a lot of the places I considered were already booked. Plus, some people did reject our booking when they found out we were a hen do! Mean!

Crown and Glory’s Candy Shop and a henna artist

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To My Husband on Our Anniversary

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To my computer game playing, gym going, kitty obsessing, sleepy head husband:
You are my rock, my biggest supporter and all of my happiest moments. I’m so proud to call you my husband.

When I try to think about what to write to you on our eight year wedding anniversary, I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a bit stumped. How can you adequately put into words a love that completely engulfs you, that makes you a better person, and that truly makes life worth living?

12th April 2008 feels like eight lifetimes ago, not just eight years. So much has changed, yet nothing has. On the outside our lives could not be more different, but inside everything is completely the same. I’m still insanely in love with you. I still get excited to see you every morning. I still want to cover you with kisses every night. You still drive me nuts with all of your ways. I still can’t load the dishwasher properly.

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Why I’m Quitting Rock n Roll Bride

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When I started this blog I had no idea just how far it could take me. From quitting a well paid full time job to all expenses paid trips to Australia! I co-founded a workshop that taught over 1000 people all over the planet and launched a print magazine!! It really has been a wild ride and I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened for the world.

Over the past 8+ years I’ve woken up excited to turn on my computer and crack on with work (and that’s something I thought I’d never have in my life)… that is until it started to get too difficult. It stopped being fun. It started feeling like more of a chore than a labour or love. And if you don’t love something any more, why would you torture yourself? Life is just too short.

So I’ve come to a big decision. Its been really hard to make but I hope you’ll understand. I’m quitting Rock n Roll Bride. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next but I know it won’t be anything to do with weddings.

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I’m Off to Japan!!

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via Girl Eat World

Kon’nichiwa! It seems like forever since I’ve written a more personal post (there’s just so much weddingness waiting to be shared in my inbox). However I wanted to pop by today and let you all know that I’m off to Japan this week! Gareth and I went there for our honeymoon in 2008, but with hardly any travel experience or money (which, let’s face it, you need in Japan!) so we are super duper excited to be going back with a bit more of both of these crucial things behind us.

We’re heading to Tokyo first, before hopping on the bullet train to Kyoto and finally Hiroshima. Oh goodness, I am so excited! I hope there will be cherry blossoms a-plenty and bountiful kawaii shopping to be had.

I’m away until the end of March, so until then the blog schedule will be a little lighter than usual. Keep popping by though because I have a post scheduled every week day so there will definitely be some things to keep you entertained and inspired in my absence.

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A Valentine’s Love Letter to Myself

A Valentine's Love Letter to Myself

Dear Kat

You’ve been thinking long and hard about what to publish today. As a blog dedicated to love and marriage there’s a certain amount of extra pressure on Valentine’s Day. There’s so much expectation about what you might write about. Do you share a Valentine’s themed photo shoot? Do you write a love letter to your husband (again!)? Do you publish one of the thousands of press releases you’ve been bombarded with from companies who want to sell your readers flowers and chocolates and extravagant gifts? Do you just skip it all together!?

You were lying in a rose-scented bath the other day, thinking about this and looking down at your squishy belly, simultaneously wishing your body looked different. You starting thinking “I wonder how much happier I’d be if I looked more like those #fitspo girls on Instagram?”

And then it hit you.

Valentine’s shouldn’t just be about expressing love for others, it needs to be about expressing some love for yourself as well.

You’ve struggled with loving yourself for as long as you can remember. You might be extroverted and seem confident about most things on the outside, but I know that internally you’re constantly criticising yourself. The way you look, the way you act, the things you say… not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not cool enough…

Today I want to tell you to give yourself a break. You’re ROCKING this thing called life. Your business helps so many women realise their true beauty and how awesome they really are. You give them permission to embrace their weirdness and just be themselves. You tell them to never conform and to be happy with who they are. You need to do this for yourself too!

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