Tag Archives: wedding planning advice

Self Esteem, Body Confidence and Learning to Love Yourself

RSL_BOOK_2

If you’ve been reading my blog (or following me on Instagram!) for a while you’ll probably have already heard of Gala Darling. Not only is she one of my best friends, but I’ve been raving about her, and her message of Radical Self Love, for quite some time!

I first discovered her blog in early 2009 (check out my adorable fangirling) but it wasn’t until happenstance enabled us to meet IRL a few years later that I knew we were kindred spirits. There are just some people you meet who instantly light up your life and make the world seem like a more positive, happier place. Gala does this for me every single day and I’m so honoured to call her my friend.

If you too want to live a more magical, happy life then Gala’s brand new book will show you exactly how to do it. In Radical Self Love: A Guide To Loving Yourself And Living Your Dream you’ll begin to discover exactly what makes you so magnificent, and you’ll uncover a litany of tools and techniques to help you manifest a life that bursts with magic, bliss and adventure. I only wish this book was around when I was a depressed young adult consumed by my eating disorder. I really do feel like it should be mandatory reading for every single woman on the planet.

I could not be prouder of my girl for following her dream to becoming a best selling author. So to celebrate the release (and the fact that it hit the #1 spot in the self help category on Amazon!) I asked her if she’d like to share some tips for brides that might be struggling with their self esteem or body confidence. Of course she enthusiastically obliged.

1. Learn to love your body

Obsessing about the way we look can be one of the worst parts of getting married. Instead of freaking out, going on a crash diet that makes you feel like shit, and going on punishing runs, choose to be kind to your body instead. One of the best ways to do this is to take a burlesque class! (In New York City, Jo Weldon’s School of Burlesque is an awesome place to start, but there are classes all around the world.) In addition to learning a simple striptease — sure to delight your partner on your wedding night — you’ll discover the beauty, power, and agency of your own body. Few things are more liberating. Hell YES!

2. Remember that what other people think of you – or your wedding – is not your business!

When you’re looking at blogs like Rock n Roll Bride, which showcase the coolest weddings on the planet, it’s totally normal to feel intimidated and worry about whether your wedding will “measure up”. Will it be cool enough? Will it be Instagrammable? Will your wedding’s hashtag look as good as you hope?

Don’t get caught up in appearances. As much as we’d all love to have beautiful photos to look back on, ask yourself, what’s more important? Marrying someone you truly adore and having a magical day, or fussing with place-settings and obsessing about how many likes the photos get on Instagram?

Radical Self Love A Guide To Loving Yourself And Living Your Dream (14)

Continue reading

The Six Biggest Wedding Planning Concerns & How to Quash Them!

smokebombflemingphoto_63

recently asked my Facebook fans what their biggest worries were about getting hitched, and oh my goodness, do you lot have a LOT of things on your mind! Here are the five main stress factors I saw pop up again and again, plus some practical ways you can overcome them.

“I’m worried about looking and feeling my best”

Us women can be hard on ourselves and our appearance at the best of times. Throw in being the centre of attention on one of the biggest days of your life in the mix and it’s a recipe for self-deprecation overload! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had brides tell me they feel like they’re not going to feel pretty on the day. They’re worried about everything from feeling fat to their make-up smearing, and from getting sweat patches to having cankles! We really are super hard on ourselves aren’t we?

First of all, you ARE going to look amazing on your wedding day! If you choose a dress that flatters you, you get a great make up artist and you pick a good deodorant like Sure Maximum Protection, you’ll have nothing to fret about! Twice as strong as the leading antiperspirant, Sure Maximum Protection Stress Control offers unrivalled protection against sweat and odour so it won’t let you down on your big day. Just remember you’re marrying someone that thinks you’re gorgeous each and every day. You could turn up in your PJs and they’d still think you looked amazing!

“Our families don’t get on!”

Family politics are a tricky one, but unless they’re complete arseholes, it’s unlikely that they’re going to purposely cause a scene at your wedding. However if you are worried, I would advise that you to have a quiet word with the potential perpetrators ahead of time and voice your concerns. Remember, they love you and hopefully (!) want your day to be a pleasant one.

Divorced parents can be tricky too, so how about instead of having a top table you have each parent ‘host’ separate ones and the two of you have a sweetheart table instead? Who says you have to go traditional if you’re family dynamics are anything but!? 

smokebombflemingphoto_62

Continue reading

Three Vital Things All Couples Should Discuss Before They Get Married

motorbike engagement (11)

There’s nothing more exciting than planning your wedding, whether you go for a large lavish affair or a more understated, personal day, there is always plenty to think about and arrange! But with all the excitement and celebration going on around you, it’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and forget that your wedding is about more than just the day itself.

When you’re in a relationship, you obviously get to know each other pretty well. But sometimes it isn’t until you actually get married that you start to consider the more serious stuff. Some of these topics can be uncomfortable to talk about, but making sure you do so is vital if you want your marriage to last the distance.

1. Money

Money is one of the main things that couples fight about. Getting on top of your joint finances before you walk down the aisle, and maybe even establishing a few ground rules, will help you nip some of the disputes that can arise in the bud.

It’s a good idea to sit down and access a free credit report like this one from Experian CreditExpert for each of you, this will allow you to identify any potential problems, and find ways to address them. Its is particularly important that you discuss your individual attitudes to money. Even if you plan to keep a lot of your finances separate, arguments about bills, past debts or one partner’s perceived overspending can cause problems very quickly.

motorbike engagement (1)

Continue reading

How to Banish Your Inner Bridezilla

BRIDECRUSH_Ceremonia & UNIQUE LAPIN Photography 78

Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful times in most people’s lives. All that expectation, all those people to please, all that money being spent, wanting to make everything just perfect… It’s no wonder that there are whole reality shows about brides flipping the hell out!

While they might be seriously entertaining to watch from the outside, if you’re not careful it can be all to easy too start to exhibit some of those trademark bridezilla tenancies yourself. Here are some things to think about to help prevent you turning into a terrifying monster,

Realise that people aren’t out to hurt you

If people make snarky comments about something to do with your wedding, please remember that they are not criticising YOU as a person! It can be all to easy to take things to heart when it comes to weddings, especially if you feel you’ve put your all into something. People on the outside don’t always realise this, or know how personal the choices you’re making are.

So if someone pulls a face at the fact your not wearing white, that you’re serving fish n chips instead of a fancy dinner or that you’ve booked an Elvis impersonator as your officiant just shrug it off and realise that although it might not be to their taste, THAT DOESN’T MATTER. It’s your wedding and the fact that they might not pick something doesn’t mean it’s not the right choice for you. Don’t take these things to heart.

Think about other people’s feelings

However it can be VERY EASY to get wrapped up in the “Its my day and what I say goes” mentality. Do not turn into a brat. People want to be there for you but it also doesn’t mean that they need to be at your beck and call 24/7 or that they are your punching bag.

Your friends and family want to celebrate with you (and might have travelled a lot way to do so) so be gracious and kind at all times. Especially think about your parents’ feelings. Remember they have probably been looking forward to this moment since the day you were born so don’t turn your nose up too high at their opinions. Let them down gently if you don’t agree with something they’ve suggested.

BRIDECRUSH_Ceremonia & UNIQUE LAPIN Photography 72

Continue reading

My Top Ten Most Effective Weight Loss Tips for Brides

venice beach rocknrollbride made u look photography (5)

Hurray, you’re engaged! Have you started your pre-wedding weight loss regime yet? YOU HAVEN’T!? Oh my goodness, there isn’t a moment to lose –  make sure you read this before it’s too late!

1. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful and incredibly blessed to be marrying the love of your life. Even if you don’t believe what you’re saying at first and you feel utterly stupid even thinking about doing it, do it anyway! If you fill you brain (and your mouth!) with positive, lovely words about yourself rather than ugly and nasty ones, you’ll eventually start to believe them.

2. Realise that losing weight will not alter how you feel about yourself long term. Sure, you might get into a smaller size wedding dress, but you’ll still have the same insecurities. Instead of fixating on how you can make yourself thinner, become obsessive about working on your self-esteem and confidence instead. The results will last much longer.

3. There are no quick fixes or miracles cures. As alluring as it might sound, you won’t undo thirty years of bad choices, behaviours and habits in thirty days. So take all those magazine articles promising that shit and throw them in the bin. Or better still, have a sacrificial burning in the back garden.

4. Talk to your fiancé about how you feel. Let them reassure you that they love and want to marry you the way you look NOW (and they will, I promise!)

5. Rapid weight-loss is almost always followed by rapid weight gain. Realise that even if you do lose weight for your wedding you’ll likely end up putting it back on afterwards when you revert back to your normal eating habits. Who wants to look back at their wedding photos and think “Gosh, that doesn’t even look like me”, or “UGH I was so thin then, now I’m just a fat wife”? If you do end up losing weight then putting it back on you’ll only end up feeling bad about yourself again – it’s a vicious circle!

Continue reading

How to Make Sure Your Guests Enjoy Your Wedding

how to make sure your guests enjoy your wedding (7)

People always say that it’s “your day”, and while they are right I always think the best weddings are ones that really take care of the guests too. While I am all for making decisions based on what makes you and your partner happy, I think it’s really nice to consider how your friends and family will enjoy the day.

Here are eight relatively simple things you might consider doing. After all, happy guests will make the day even more magical!

Make transportation easy

Logistics, especially if you are having parts of the day in different locations, can be a stress point for some guests. Particularly if they’re not from the area it might be a nice idea to lay on transport to make sure everyone can get from A to B. For extra bride-points, why not lay on taxis to make sure everyone gets home safely too?

Offer plenty of food options

With so many people having allergies, intolerances and dietary requirements, picking one meal to suit everybody’s needs is most likely an impossibility! To make sure everyone is fed and watered, consider putting on a couple of meal options (you can ask them in your invites if they have any specific requirements or have a couple of options and get them to pick one). You could also have a buffet with lots of different things to try. Most catering companies should be able to rustle up vegetarian, vegan and gluten/ nut free options for specific cases.

how to make sure your guests enjoy your wedding (5)

Have an open bar

OK so obviously this is very much budget dependant, but if you really want to hold favour with your guests, have an open bar! The more cost effective option might be to source drinks yourselves from wholesalers or supermarkets rather than using a bar service who will charge you per drink (pro tip: most supermarkets will do awesome bulk buy deals around Christmas so stock up then!)

Surprise them with things they might not have thought of

If you’re having an outdoor wedding, provide blankets or fans for the ceremony (climate depending!), have wellies for a potentially wet wedding and flip flops or ballet pumps on hand if people will be on their feet all night.

If you have guests staying over a ‘hangover kit’ including things like paracetamol, coffee, an eye mask, plasters and a mini toothpaste and toothbrush will also be very much appreciated the next day!

Include extra information on your invitations

The things your guests always want to know are directions and transport options, accommodation choices, things to do in the area (if they’re coming from out of town), dress code and info about the gift list. Make it easy for your nearest and dearest by including all this on an insert sheet inside your invites, or on your wed-site!

how to make sure your guests enjoy your wedding (9)

Continue reading