THIS is What it’s All About – Forget the Details & the ‘Blog-Worthy Wedding’ Obsession

July 30, 2010 in Wedding by Kat | 20 comments

There is always a lot of chatter around blog land about details details details. Photographers are obsessed with getting couples with detail-heavy weddings so that the blogs and magazine will want to feature them. While this is true (after all wedding blogs and mags are primarily read by brides-to-be who want to see weddings with ideas they can steal for their own big day) do you ever think that this obsession to have a ‘blog-worthy’ detail heavy wedding might be a little excessive?

I’m not one to slag aaaanybody’s wedding off but I do see some weddings circulating around blog land that just seem so…well…contrived. Like a circus almost. Like a made-for-blogs-wedding-circus. The results are pretty much always gorgeous and inspiring but do you ever look at weddings like that and feel depressed or inadequate about your own wedding?

I wonder sometimes if a lot of us have actually forgotten the whole point of the wedding in the first place. Two people, in love standing there saying ”I Do”. That’s it. That’s what’s important. Lets not forget that.

That’s why I flipping LOVE Myrna & LB’s wedding. The two of them, looking smokin’ hot with beaming smiles and an aura over utter joy and elation. THAT’S what this is about people.

The pair had a private ceremony (without anyone else – not even their parents) in Golden Gate Park near the Dutch Windmill – San Francisco, CA. They didn’t have a reception.

“Our family and friends were excited for us, but I know our parents wish we had done the traditional big wedding. What was important to us, and quite frankly weird to most people I guess, was being completely alone (save Leah for photography and the officiant) because we wanted to experience that moment just between us. I felt like it’s such an intimate, personal thing that it’s weird to share that with other people. I was never the little girl that dreamed of her wedding and prince charming. I hate big, floofy ball gown wedding dresses…I hate the idea of walking down an aisle while everyone stares at you…I hate the idea of going through all that stress for planning a wedding. Doing the traditional wedding felt to me that it wouldn’t be about us, that it would be about having it for other people. We both didn’t want a traditional wedding, so why have it? Because we “have” to? So a compromise we came to with our parents was to have a reception later. We are currently planning the reception for this November with all our fam & friends. The benefit of doing it this unconventional way was that we saved A LOT of money doing the ceremony privately and a small reception at a later date.”

Thanks to Myrna & LB and their photographer Leah for sharing this fabulously personal wedding with us today

And thanks to all of you for listening to my mini-lecture. Thoughts?

Credit: Photography by Leah
Bride’s Dress: David’s Bridal
Bride’s Shoes: David’s Bridal
Necklace & Earrings: Claire’s
Groom’s Suit: Saks
Groom’s Shoes: Vans
Bouquet and boutonniere: custom made by AmoreBride on Etsy
Ring pillow: custom made by JenCarres on Etsy
Hair flower: HitomiDesign on Etsy
Make Up: Amelia @ Beauty Works
Hair Stylist: Roderick @ Fairmont hotel’s salon

Tags: Ceremony, Elopement, Etsy, Field, Personal, San Francisco, Tattoo, Tattooed Bride

20 comments so far

Comments feed for this article

Trackback link: http://www.rocknrollbride.com/2010/07/this-is-what-its-all-about-forget-the-details-the-blog-worthy-wedding-obsession/trackback/

lauren on July 30, 2010 at 17:14

Beautiful bride + groom, beautiful photographs, and beautiful + meaningful words.
Emma on July 30, 2010 at 17:23

I love the joy that comes through from these photos – isn’t that what it’s all about?

I agree about the focus on details creating a feeling of inadequacy or worry that your wedding isn’t good enough or “blog-worthy” enough. While I like to see the little touches that people have brought to their wedding days, it’s the people pictures that I really love. I do worry about people thinking “it’s all about the details” when it really isn’t. In fact, I loved Cara’s wedding graduate post on A Practical Wedding which expressed that really well.

We had a few detail shots but nothing by the standards of what you see on a lot of wedding blogs. Do I mind? Nope! Because when I look through our wedding photos I’m more bothered about the ones of my dad giving his speech or of my husband and I exchanging our rings or of people laughing and enjoying themselves – because as nice as it is to have images of our nice hand-made place cards, it’s the ones with people in them that capture the feel and the emotion of the day.
Mandy on July 30, 2010 at 17:53

I am so glad that I clicked through to this post today. My fiance and I are getting married in November and we have been catching a lot of slack from family and friends for our wedding style.

It’s nice to see that the “event” isn’t as important to other couples either. It’s about the love between the two people involved.

I will be enjoying my vacation/destination vows with my future husband.
Kristi Wright on July 30, 2010 at 18:21

Couldn’t agree more, Kat. This is a beautiful wedding to post. I love these photos.
Sharon on July 30, 2010 at 19:23

As a bride-to-be and also a wedding photographer, I have had to stop myself a number of times from forgetting the whole point of my wedding. It’s not about being published, it’s about me, my man and the love. Don’t get me wrong, I want it to look freaking awesome as well, but I’m trying very hard to keep it real and stop myself from planning my wedding around the photos.
I couldn’t agree more about being tired of the whole “contrived-ness” of many weddings I see blogged lately. Actually, that goes for engagement shoots as well. I guess I’m just not so much a “prop” person. I think sometimes the guys involved must throw up in their mouths a little bit when their girlfriends tell them they want a vintage picnic theme shoot with antique luggage and camera’s and balloons and pinwheels and mini sandwiches, and macaroons, and moustaches on sticks and vintage costumes and…….well, you get the picture.
Clara on July 30, 2010 at 19:35

At least three of my friends got engaged in the same month and with all the drama over families and what they want and what is going to happen at the wedding and things, I just keep saying that you need to remember what it’s all about. You’re marrying the person to love. That’s the important thing. If/When I get married, I’m making sure that what stays at the top of any list. Remember what it’s really all about. The rest of the details are just fun!

Though I still love seeing balloons and moustaches. They always make me smile!
Addie on July 30, 2010 at 19:44

Absolutely beautiful post…. and I know as a bride, other weddings you see on blogs can make you feel unworthy, but the same thing happens to us as photographers as well…. so its really great to see a wedding blog focusing on what a wedding is meant to be – the union of two people in love… details are great, but its the people that make it worth it (and trust me, it doesnt matter how great the details are, if you couple isnt)
Shawna on July 30, 2010 at 19:48

Whoa! It’s like I’ve just seen the future. My mind is blown with the similarities between Myrna and LB and my fiance and me! From the private ceremony (only an officiant and a photographer) to not even wanting a reception but compromising to appease the parents…it’s EXACTLY what we’re planning!

Good for them for sticking to their guns, and I LOVE the intimacy of their photos. That’s totally what it’s about…two people in love committing to share their lives together. Thanks for sharing, Kat, and reminding everyone of the important bit of a wedding!
carla ten eyck on July 30, 2010 at 20:09

I love this post! Coming from a photographer’s perspective- it’s true that we can get pretty detail- aware / obsessed etc. in order to get those clients we want posted somewhere so that we can in turn attract the types of clients we want…. it’s a crazy vicious cycle!

Kudos to you for admitting that you are all not going to play by those rules! My favorite images – the PORTRAITS!!! – most of the time never get the play I hope for them because everyone wants to see the details in order to plan for their weddings… I get it, believe me!

Keep up the honest posts, I love it!!
Jenn on July 30, 2010 at 21:26

Thanks so much for this post. I’m eloping with my boy (it two days – SHIT!) and spending a lot of time on wedding blogs has made me second guess my choice. Myrna’s thoughts on her wedding mirror my own so perfectly – I really do want my wedding to be just for us, and these guys look so incredibly happy doing the same thing. I also never dreamed of a big wedding, and hated the thought of being the centre of attention – it’s not for everyone, so why should everyone feel like they ‘have to’?

Best wishes to Myrna and LB – they look and sound like a couple who are so in love and have their heads screwed on right.
Bonnie Joy on July 31, 2010 at 00:30

Great post and beautiful wedding! It is so easy to get caught up in the “bloggable” details of a wedding, and then miss the point of the whole thing: you and your loved one making a commitment to each other. Thanks for reminding us of this.
Bryan Aulick on July 31, 2010 at 07:24

I’ve thought the same and it was nice to read it here.
Leah McCormick on July 31, 2010 at 17:33

Thanks Kat for this beautiful post!! It’s my wedding dream world when people throw production out the door and go with the emotion of it all! Getting married, saying your vows, to the person you love is the most important part hands down. xo Leah
Gena on July 31, 2010 at 19:44

Wow, talk about a perfectly beautiful and simplistic (in the best way) wedding! I absolutely love this idea and the gorgeous photos tell quite the fantastic love story. I don’t even know the couple and I got teary-eyed by the way they looked at each other and the look of sheer joy upon their “just married” faces. I have to mention how much I love Myrna’s hair! Great to see long, lovely hair worn down for a wedding. That cake topper with the eggs facing each other kissing was adorable!!
B on July 31, 2010 at 21:33

Thank you for this blog post. Frankly, I was feeling like we weren’t doing enough or planning enough after looking at so many blogs and an over abundance of details. I keep reminding myself that it’s about our marriage and our family and friends being a part of our day, but it’s nice to see it here.
Lisa Brown on August 1, 2010 at 11:44

So beautiful!
The post just reinforces the notion that the wedding day is about love and the bride and groom. I want our day to be fun and I do not want that to be compromised by table decorations etc that our small amount of guests will not really be that fussed about.
Margaret on August 2, 2010 at 16:49

Love your mini-lecture. It’s gotten kind of out of control, the cycle of blogs influencing weddings, influencing blogs, influencing weddings, ad infiinitum.

I mean, I enjoy browsing through pretty detail photos and I’m all for creativity, but it’s strange when weddings keep popping up that look as if they were constructed JUST to be featured in a blog… I get the temptation, but as you said, that it not WHY we’re up there saying “I do.”
Michele on August 2, 2010 at 19:28

This is an absolute delight to read, but most importantly to see how happy the couple is thru the simple wedding plans they enjoyed. Sooooooo refreshing.
Leahs photography is outstanding in capturing the naturalness and freshness of the day, makes the viewer feel like they are right there!

Thank you so much for mentioning my Daisy Bouquet.
Michele at http://www.AmoreBride.etsy.com
Michigan
catalina on August 2, 2010 at 20:24

Beautiful pictures and very touching post. I’m very happy for Myrna, I wish her the best.

Thanks for including Hitomi Designs.
http://HitomiDesigns.etsy.com

Catalina
Michelle on August 3, 2010 at 17:40

This looks perfect and beautiful. I’m torn between an awesomely detailed wedding and a beautiful, personal ceremony like this one. It’s tempting to just run away and do it all on our own! This is what it’s really about – two people in love.